After years of being in a committed relationship you may find that the relationship has changed. The initial passion, communication, and sexual intimacy only lasts so long. The longer you are in a relationship the more comfortable you become with each other, and the easier it can be to go through the motions of a loving couple without feeling any of the sexual intimacy you once shared.
How to Rekindle Sexual Chemistry
Do you remember the days when the two of you couldn’t stand to be apart? When your only sexual fantasy was to share a bed with your partner? You might have been the couple everyone else went to for relationship advice or every couple wanted to be like, but now you’re the ones who need help. There are many ways to rekindle your sexual chemistry and reignite that loving feeling that once made the two of you inseparable.
You might want to start with a few Random Acts of Intimacyjust to get things moving again.
The Loving Couple
How Did We Get Here?
The euphoric loving feeling that disinhibits us during the start of a new love is likened to a drug addicted coke head looking for the next fix, but is actually a major release of dopamine in our brain. Yea, leave it to science to make falling in love not so romantic, but the biology of love can’t be denied. Your brain can only keep up the production of dopamine for so long and a few years into most relationships when we are settling in for the ever after the dopamine level drop drastically. And just as fast as the loving feeling possessed your entire being, it slips out the back door and leaves you wondering what happened and looking for your next fix.
What is next after the Fix?
Don’t despair because the best is yet to come for a committed couple that continues their loving journey together. The good news is that going forward it is more of an even steady sharing of love with some dopamine rushes mixed in to spice things up instead of the constant disrupting high energy experienced during the beginning of the relationship. Another very common experience that most couples experience is day-to-day life of rushing here and there, dropping the 2.3 kids off at event after event just to rush off to get to work, the gym, home again to make dinner and by the time you two drop into bed barely having talked all day there is not one drop of energy left to even kiss good night let alone to get jiggy with it. And let’s not even get started with our cram packed full weekends.
So you might be asking yourself where do we go from here, how can we possibly find time for intimacy when we can’t even squeeze one more thing into our already full day?
Taking Back Your Life, Taking back that Loving Feeling.
You must make a choice right now along with your partner to just take a few small steps towards improving your relationship. As they say “Rome was not built in a day” don’t try to fix everything in one day. Just take few small baby steps every day that will grow as time goes by. If you try to take too many steps at once it will be overwhelming and unsustainable. So here are just a few very small steps that you can start practicing now and add to your list of changes as the loving feeling returns.
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with
Mark Twain
Communication
It’s important to always communicate well with your partner. If you feel like your relationship has gotten stale you can suggest to your significant other that you try something new. Be open and honest about how you’re feeling, but also be willing to make a change. Start off small with clearing one evening a week that is all yours, make a date each week, actually put it in each person calendar, and make sure you keep the date. Make sure this date is out of the home and away from everyday life including shutting the phones off. Take the first hour to check in with each other, talk about how each other is doing and about things in life that need to be talked about to keep your life going. But be strict with your time at one hour the rest of the date is for the two of you. Talk about each other, dreams, fantasies, places you want to go and things you want to do TOGETHER. Whatever you do don’t return back to everyday life topics keep the topic about you two. Also talk about things you want to do on future date nights that you have not done because you have been too busy.
Be Intentional About Time
Another piece of relationship advice is to be specific about your time. You should always have time set aside for you both to enjoy each other as a loving couple. So goes date night so goes sex night (not to say date night can’t also get steamy). Everyday life can easily get in the way of your relationship. It’s important to have time together without any distractions. This way you can talk, cuddle, or relive the intimacy and passion of your early days in love. Your date night might even include going parking like a teenager, renting a hotel even if it is only for a few hour (no not the place by the hour somewhere nice, no one said you had to stay all night. But if you can go for it).
Try Something New
One of the best ways to relive that initial loving feeling is to try something new together. The beginning of your relationship was all about first times. If you haven’t done so before, consider exploring fantasy role playing. You can first spend time together reading through different fantasies at thelovingcouple.com in the Fantasy Zone and talking about your own sexual fantasy. Then incorporate fantasy role playing from the Fantasy Zone when you are on date night or at any time you have time to squeeze a fantasy in. Together you can discover what you do or don’t like. You’ll find tons of fantasy options in the Fantasy Zone, so that you can find a roleplaying fantasy that works for you both.
One blog is not going to fix your relationship or bring back that loving feeling. But as they say it only takes one small act to change the course of trajectory and change your path towards divorce to a path of many years of blissful loving feelings.
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